Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
