An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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