Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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