So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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