you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
