You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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