Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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