He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize