i think i have herpe
just one?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
