I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
