That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
