This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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