I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
