And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
