it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
