I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
