You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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