But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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