oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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