Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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