I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i believe in u and ur pee
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
