shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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