You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
