Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
