She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
