You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
