I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
