i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
