dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize