who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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