just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She even gives head with a lisp.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
