I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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