Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
