I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
