dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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