Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
