ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
