We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
