The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
