Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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