There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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