i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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