So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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