I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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