I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
