if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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