margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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