Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
