Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
