Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
