In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
