I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
