Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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