I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
