Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
