I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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