He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
