Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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