yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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