Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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