Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize