Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
