the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
