the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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