I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
