What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
