is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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