it wasn't lemon gatorade
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
smell my finger.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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