Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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