I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
