i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
