WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize